Funny Poker Puns and Poker Jokes

Shane C

Nov 26, 2022

Dogs Playing Poker

Funny Poker Puns and JokesThere are plenty of presumptions related to the origins of poker. Some people say that the poker game started its journey in the Chinese Empire in the tenth century. Others claim that there was a similar game in ancient Persia. It takes a lot of wits, diligence, and determination to be good at playing poker, especially when the stakes are insanely high.

The biggest poker tournament in the world is called the “World Series of Poker”. It was first held in 1970. The tournament winner gets the title of the “Poker Champion of the world.” 

With millions of players worldwide, poker is a wildly popular game to play both online and in person. While most believe that poker largely depends on luck, there is actually a great deal of skill involved too. Some people even make a career out of playing poker. 

If you’re one for poker-based puns and card game puns, you will surely enjoy the poker jokes in this article. Those who fancy playing poker and have a poker table at home will feel much excitement when they see some relatable jests.

Here is a list of some of the best poker jokes that will make you feel like you’re holding the cards in any situation!

The Last Poker Game 

One day, a woman who played poker once a month with a group of her female coworkers was concerned that she always woke her husband when she came home around 2 am. But one night, she decided to try not to wake him. She took her clothes off in the living room, put her purse over her shoulder, and tiptoed naked into the bedroom. The woman was unexpectedly surprised to find her husband sitting up in bed reading. “Goddamn woman!” he exclaimed. “Did you lose everything?” 

Do Dogs Play Poker?

One man entered a bar on Friday night and noticed a group of people playing poker at the far table. While approaching the table, the man noticed a dog sitting there with the cards and chips. Among other things, the dog acted in turn with all the other players; raising, calling, and doing everything the other human players were doing. However, none of the players seemed to pay any attention to the fact that they were playing with a dog. They just treated him like a human player. 

Finally, the man could no longer keep his mouth shut, so between hands, he gently said to one of the players, “I just can’t believe my eyes! This dog is playing poker! He must be the smartest dog on earth!” The player grinned and replied, “Nah, he isn’t that smart! Each time he gets a good card, he wags his tail.” 

Full House

John arrived home late after an intense poker game.

His wife screamed, “Where have you been? It’s 3 a.m.!”

John replied, “I played poker in the central bar.”

His angry wife started shouting, “Get out of my house! I don’t want to see you!

John sadly replied, “Oh, I forgot to say. It’s not your house anymore.”

Bluffer at the Poker Table

A group of businessmen gathered together to play poker after a busy working day. The stakes were high, so everyone was a bit on edge. After dealing the cards, everyone was looking intently at each other. One of the businessmen called the hand and put his cards on the table. The group dealer looked flabbergasted and uttered, “Hey, hold on a minute, Simon here is cheating. He’s not playing the cards I dealt him!”

Never Look Aside

A busty blond sat down at a poker table in a Las Vegas casino. “I hope you don’t mind, but I play better when I’m naked,” the woman said. After that, she immediately took her clothes off.

After some heavy betting, the dealer turned over the river card and flipped the hand over. A woman jumped out of her seat and started screaming, “I won! I won! I won!” 

The dealer, flustered, pushed her the pot. 

“What did she have?” the loser asked the dealer.

“I don’t know,” the dealer said. “I thought you were watching.”

Serious Case

On a sunny day, a doctor answered his phone and heard the familiar voice of his colleague on the other end of the line. “We need a fourth to play poker,” said the friend. 

“Hold on a few minutes. I’ll be right over,” whispered the doctor. 

As he was putting on his shoes, his wife anxiously asked, “What’s going on? Is it serious?” 

“Oh yes, quite serious,” said the doctor severely. “Actually, there are three doctors there already!” 

Top Eight For Those Playing Poker 

  • How do you know that poker players care about music? They hate bad beats.

  • Why should you never play poker with an alligator? You will lose every hand.

  • What animal always wins at a poker game? A bluffalo

  • What’s the difference between a big pizza and a poker player? Big pizza can feed a family of four, while a poker player can’t.

  • Why did everyone look at Tom weirdly when he started eating the chips? He was at a poker game.

  • What would Batman do if he was losing at poker? He would summon the Joker.

  • Why did a poker player decide not to have tattoos with words on his arms? He didn’t want other people to read him like a book.

The Bottom Line

Sitting at the poker table or playing online can be a little monotonous after a while, right? Poker puns are a great way to have fun and liven things up a little. If you’re into poker humor, you will love our assortment of the funniest poker jokes. Share these poker puns with your friends, and stay tuned!

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